As of this moment, I know you’re not yet complete. I haven’t fixed myself as a shitty mess. Being single for 4 years taught me a lot and made my soul tired. I had petty love interests here and there, just crushes to be exact.
I don’t know if it’s the singleness that makes me feel incomplete, it is… something or probably someone that will fill the emptiness and the flaws in me. I see everybody as a future but they most likely doesn’t feel the same way. Who will not be afraid for who I am and will be happy to grow with me.
I usually comb my her once a day, just after I take a bath. I don’t use cologne (anymore) nor perfume. I don’t iron my clothes and nobody does it for me either (my mama wants to but I refuse). Some of the dishes I cook are tasteless because I don’t put salt nor artificial seasoning in it. I hate mingling with people and small talks. I am not outgoing. I dress (over)casually, like just jeans and shirts and shoes or sometimes sandals. I don’t put make-up on, no more blush on nor lipstick lately. I don’t care how people see me nor what they say about it.
They say I am snob, bully, hard headed, war freak, strict. Those are true, I guess. I am weird and I know that. I’m crazy, yes.
I like being alone. I have a lot of baggage as of today. I am so attached to it that I cannot let it go.
But you future me should be proud of me today for I have grown up. I feel like I am more responsible now (though I think that I’ve been a responsible kid since day 1).
Anyway, I budget my money not for me but for the people I love. I have dreams and I am on my way to achieving all of it. I know how to manage my rage. I can do the laundry and mega OC that I can’t stay in an unorganized place so long.
That’s a lot of “I” all throughout this post, eh and that’s why let me tell this to you – Somebody’s working on changing it to “WE” and sometime in the future, it will be made known that… that somebody is now ready… whole and fulfilled.